I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
