yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think people are normalizing furries
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
