Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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