I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize