Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
