Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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