Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
