i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
