Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's blow job season.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
