When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
