Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
