i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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