dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
