I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
