We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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