So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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