and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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