my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
