Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
