we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
