O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
