Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
