talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
