4 words: hood of his car
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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