I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
