I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
