An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
