One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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