Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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