I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
