Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
