who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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