With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
