We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
