I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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