I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
