Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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