I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
