anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
