She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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