the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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