You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
