I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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