I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
