We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
