She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
