our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There r osticjed everywhere
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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