But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
