please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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