You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
