Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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